I know this isnt really fashion related - but a must have 'accsessory' for every girl is a man right? This got me thinking about when i would finally stop meeting deluded phsycopath's and meet my Mr Right. So having written down my thoughts ... enjoy.
Gone are the memorable days where I would sit in my room every evening worrying about my obsession with the latest Barbie doll. These days I find myself sitting in my room every evening - in a highly depressive manner, worrying about my obsession with the latest man in my life. Bridget Jones comes to mind, but what if I don’t want to be an “unmarried and romantically unattached person” – what if I just want to be single? In today’s day and age I find that many women stress too much over finding the “right guy”. Nobody wants to be single anymore, yet most women expect the real deal. But what exactly makes Mr Perfect?
Meet Alan*, my first ‘real boyfriend’. Alan* was three years older than me and worked as a salesman for BMW. The concept that he was a strong working man instantly had me captivated as most men in my area at that time were quite what one would call a “lazy, chauvinistic pig”. Lazy he was not. He lived with his single unemployed mother, and younger brother in a nice house just outside the main town. He supported his family and had to work hard to secure their lifestyle so he was certainly not lazy. However after roughly six months of being his girlfriend he started to change. Alan* was now unemployed – after embarrassingly threatening his boss and had began drinking cans upon cans of Stella regularly, and would get random texts of his ‘friends’ Annie*, Sarah* and Debbie* suggesting meet ups and ‘second dates’. He had become the sort of guy I would usually avoid in a nightclub. Chauvinistic - he now was. Rather than talk to me as a person he would now talk at me as if I were some sort of object. He had obviously lost all respect for me, which resulted in him loosing respect from my mother. Who by now, I think it is safe to say, absolutely hated the urchin. Young and naive as I was, I failed to see these faults in him at the time – even when I found him snuggling up to another girl in a café in town I found reasons to justify his behaviour. For months after we broke up (on his terms) I tried everything under the sun to ‘regain – what we had’. However, after months of rebound, I finally recognize him for the lazy, chauvinistic pig that he is. But why did it take me months of his crude behaviour to actually realise that he was not going to be the right man for me? I once heard that women sometimes take in men who are the stereotypical ‘bad boys’ as they want to be the one girl who changes them, the one girl who in this case Alan* would stop being a complete and utter tw*t for.
My second boyfriend Karl* seemed alright at the time. Not a great introduction I know, but to be honest he wasn’t that great of a guy. Don’t get me wrong - he was nice, and had his heart in the right place, yet I guess the reason in which why I wasn’t mesmerized by this one, was possibly that he was too nice? Can a man be too nice I hear you ask, yes – yes he can. The first date went well, but it all changed on the second date when he introduced me to the waiter as his ‘girlfriend’. After hours of panicking my friends re assured me that he was only being nice and that I was lucky to have such a caring guy! I let that tiny incident slip, and began dating Karl*. Everything was going okay until two months later when he asked me what I thought about starting a family. I laughed at this resulting in his shocked reply “don’t you take me serious? I really think we should start a family”. Needles to say this was the end of our relationship. He was not only too nice, but too forward? Or possibly just too desperately clingy. Furthermore I wasn’t as attracted to him as I had previously been for Alan*, as I don’t think he has that bad boy sex appeal. He wasn’t and wouldn’t ever be bad enough.
So men are either too bad or too nice right? Wrong. I recently met a guy called Mark* who interestingly enough seemed to have acquired the right balance. Finally I thought my prayers had been answered, until I realised that I couldn’t actually have a conversation with him were I actually felt as if he was listening or as if he even remotely cared. Mark* had the habit of ‘playing it cool’ which at first was attractive as it gave me the old hard to get challenge. But this soon enough became irritating as our relationship didn’t seem to progress at all. Nothing happened, and the relationship kind of phased out after a couple of months.
One of my last male obsessions Max* was Italian. This automatically gave him the British thumbs up as women will always find themselves attracted to certain stereotypes. Italian men, otherwise known as the Italian stallions have the reputation of being romantic, every girl wants one, they have extremely sexy accents, and often have good fashion sense. This is what most girls would describe to be perfect, yet for some reason he was not what I wanted. The only problem here was that whilst we had an amazing physical side to the relationship, he could only take in about one, maybe too conversations a day. I think that for a relationship to last there has to be a mix up of both the physical and non physical attributes.
So when will I meet Mr. Right? Like many women, I find myself stressing over finding that one ‘right guy’ yet until I stop looking I doubt I ever will. To stop picking out traits in a man that make him good, bad, nice or sexy would mean we stop picking them apart. Surely if we do meet a man who is Mr. Perfect, we would expect him to take us and to love us just as we are – so why therefore do we feel the need to change him. Sitting back up in my room on another depressing evening, I don’t now find myself worrying about my latest male obsession, as I have come to the conclusion that every man is Mr. Right to someone, and as hard as it may seem you’ve just got to find the right one for you.
